I remember when I was applying for university in college, my foundation teacher told me he wasn’t sure I was ‘edgy’ enough to go to Central Saint Martins but he wasn’t going to stop me from applying if I wanted to try. Now I’m the kind of person that if you tell me you don’t think I can do something I will prove you wrong. Any disbelief in me fuels me because I’m stubborn and believe that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. I wrote on a piece of paper that I kept next to my bed that said ‘I am edgy enough’… and I guess it worked because I got in.
Later on in university I was having trouble with inspiration and ideas and my tutor suggested getting the things that sparked my creativity out of my book and surround myself with these things in the places where I spent a lot of time. So I stuck everything up on my walls even though it meant painting over blue tack marks at the end of the year to get my deposit back. And again it worked, I felt more inspired and ideas came better.
With the new year I want to set myself some intentions for what I want. As I mentioned in the new year post I’ve spent a lot of time feeling pressure from all sides, and I’ve been left feeling a bit depleted. Which is why I’m not going back to London immediately after ringing in the year and won’t be heading back till I’ve figured some things out both personally and professionally. Last year as part of my healthy habits for Sagitta I had to think up what I’d want to do for a bucket list. I ended up with about 70 items but cut it down to 10 and now if I tick one off I can replace that item with something from my back up list. It was a really nice thing to do to think about those things that I want to achieve in the bigger picture and so I thought I’d sort of do the same thing and think about what I want from the year to come to hopefully add some of that sparkle back in. Hopefully having this stuff in front of my face and surrounding me will remind me of whats important at those moments when I’m overwhelmed.
I’ve looked at some different aspects that all feel pretty important, so here goes.
I’d love to set up Kireli, my studio, this year. I’ve decided to name it this in honour of my mum – taking inspiration from her name. I have reached out and arranged some mentoring so I hope this will help me figure out how to bring my practice to the level I want to achieve. I’d love to spend a month or so just nailing the branding, the website and how I present my work and figuring out a business plan and strategy for the future. I want to transition from being seen as a freelancer to having a studio that does things to help the greater good.
I also want to work on my confidence with regards to work. I’m pretty confident in my creative abilities but I need to work on presenting and pitching, and improve and flex how my mind works when coming up with really creative ideas and solutions where concepts simply convey what’s needed in a fun and human way.
I want to be more hands on and do more concept development, brand building, art direction and photography because these are the things that make my brain tick.
HAPPINESS & BEAUTY
Nature, music, creativity, stars, sunrises and sunsets. These things all make me happy. There’s that quote from ‘Wild’ that everyday we have two chances to put ourselves in the way of beauty with every sunrise and sunset. Granted in the UK it’s grey quite often, but there’s so much out there in addition to these things.
I want to make a point of going to see beautiful things. Interesting things. Things that make you think, and feel, and realise that you’re a part of something bigger. And I want to focus on feeling beautiful and happy within myself.
I want to keep writing. I want to create things for myself. I want to read more and spend time with people who add happiness and beauty into my life. Which brings me onto…
Relationships should be places where you can be vulnerable and honest. And this is something that I have with my closest friends and family but sometimes I get caught up in making everything appear hunky dory when it’s really not because I don’t want to bother others. But that’s not authentic and I need realness.
I want to spend more time with these people, making memories doing enjoyable things (that don’t solely revolve around eating food or drinking), or doing absolutely nothing but having the most interesting conversations about the strangest topics.
I want more passion, openness, laughter and soul lifting exchanges with the people I love and the people I come across.
I want to see more of the world and that’s that.
I want to explore my own country more. I want to see New York and I should be exploring Paris with my mum.
PRIORITY & BALANCE
I need to start putting myself first, which is what all of this is about really. But I need to recognise when I’m stressed or overwhelmed with anything from work to my relationships with others, or anything beyond my control and ensure I bring in some boundaries and take moments to breathe, to be still and alone and remember what’s important. In those moments I need to create clarity for myself and make sure that my life is balanced and not all just crazy chaos taking too much on.
I also need to get better at recognising how I feel, and stop rationalising other peoples actions because I can understand why they did them. Understanding why doesn’t make them acceptable. And recognising what my emotions are (which I’m not very good at) is an important thing to do to make sure I’m looking after myself.
I also want to make more time for the things that make me feel good at home. Spending time with Mikee, snuggling and playing with Piggy. Cooking and looking after how I eat and making my environment better: keeping it clean, bringing in more plants, replacing the rooms that need work doing. I need to save up and prioritise these things… And look after my finances.
I want to learn more about nutrition, and I want to cultivate in myself a person who loves eating healthier because my body is the only one I have and I need to look after it. Chocolate and cake make my soul happy, so include those too as treats but treats aren’t needed everyday.
I want to carry on keeping fit through swimming, exercise classes and walking Piggy.
I also want to tick off an item on my bucket list – learn to do a handstand again. I need to improve my arm and core strength before I even try, but it might be worth picking up yoga or gymnastics so I can get to this point. I also want to improve my flexibility, I used to be really flexible and it shouldn’t be as tough as it is now.
I also want to learn how to skateboard even if it’s just feeling totally comfortable standing on it while going along, because I’ve been wanting to do this forever.
AND BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO REMEMBER, HERE’S THE BUCKET LIST
I don’t think I’ll manage to do everything on this list in one year but as a reminder of whats important big picture wise here it is.
- Visit the Amazon.
- Live in a different country.
- Learn to do a handstand again.
- Write a song.
- Build a company that people like working with and for.
- Cycle the Pacific coast.
- Name a star.
- Learn to fight like Buffy (I’m a nerd)
- Have your tarot read in real life.
- Fly in a hot air ballon.
Images either mine or from Pinterest.